after a long time...

Haven't blogged in almost a month... Haven't had the time to blog but partly also because I haven't had the mood to blog... Sometimes, I wonder why I bother to blog... But at times, blogging seems like the only way to vent it all out..

There are times when I feel really alone.. There's no one I can actually call to talk to or just cry... He's been so busy lately... No phone call, no SMS... And the latest, won't see him for the next couple of weeks... That would make it 2 weeks of not meeting, to date..

I'm really tired.... I have so much to do and so much to handle... But who understands? Not even the colleagues who would supposedly understand because they face the same kind of shit... No appreciation, just accusations...

Sometimes I don't even know how I feel... Helpless? Upset? Pissed? I don't know, really.. Maybe its because all these emotions are fighting each other... To the point that it drives me to exhaustion...

I try to be understanding... I really try... I just need to know that it's being felt.. I've learnt to make do with alot of things.. Or rather without alot of things...

I try to be fair... But when is it my turn to feel that the world is fair to me?