waiting.... waiting....

The end of the year is coming.. Where will everything lead to? As of today, I still don't know.. He's been rather nice lately... I was wondering if that's his way of showing that things are ok, that he doesn't quite know how to say it, that he is using actions to show me that things are getting back on track... I really don't know.. It would be nice if that was really the case but I don't know if I'm willing to allow myself to think that..

I really wish it was so... But until I get a more certain answer.. 2 days to my birthday... 3 days to the end of the year.. What will my birthday be like this year? I tell myself, I must be brave... I will not cry...

I'm still telling myself that.. And maybe one day, I'll be able to do just that...